Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Love is Patient. Love is Kind

This past week we buried my sweet Aunt Ruby. Aunt Ruby was eighty-nine years old. Her health had been failing but she was determined to make it to ninety. She told her doctor as much a few days before her passing. Her body gave out, but her spirit never gave up. 

I was asked to share thoughts about my aunt at the funeral. I decided to share some of those thoughts here as well. I want to honor her and remember her, yes. But in gathering my thoughts on Aunt Ruby, I learned something about myself and the woman I want to be as I walk this life. 

When I first began preparing my talk for my aunt’s funeral, several words and phrases came to mind. Words like “trustworthy” and “hospitable”; phrases like “gentle spirit” and “quiet strength.” 

A Woman of Noble Character
The words that surfaced reminded me of the woman of noble character described in Proverbs 31: 
            “…she brings her husband good and not harm…”
            “…she gets up while it is still dark, she provides food for her family…”
            “…she sets about her work vigorously…”
            “…her lamp does not go out at night…”
            “...she makes clothing for her family and covering for her bed…”
            “…she is clothed with strength and dignity…”
            “she does not eat the bread of idleness…”
“…charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised..”

I share those phases because each one describes my aunt. One would be worth mentioning. Any woman would be honored to be described by one of these phrases, but the truth is that I had to select only a few from the long list in the chapter. Aunt Ruby was a woman of noble character. 

But is There More?
As I was working on what I would say at the service for my aunt, I shared my thoughts with one of my daughters. Aunt Ruby’s life brought to her mind, words from the New Testament in Galatians 5 verse 22 where Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit as love, joy, piece, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

Yep, that’s my Aunt Ruby.

This year, I’ve been working to memorize the twelfth chapter of Romans. In that chapter we are instructed to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer, …and to practice hospitality.”

Yep, that’s my Aunt Ruby.

Patience Learned, Patience Cultivated, Patience Practiced 

But as I went to through the days leading to that point in time when we would all gather to say our final farewell and share our memories of a life well lived, I realized one quality, one trait emerged over and over in the scripture I chose and in my aunt’s life: Patience.

My aunt loved to fish. Fishing takes patience. Aunt Ruby learned patience as she baited the hook, dropped her line in the water and waited. 

She raised a garden to feed her family. Gardening takes patience. Aunt Ruby cultivated patience and demonstrated faith as she planted seeds, watered, waited, weeded and watered and waited some more, watched the plants bloom and waited still longer. Eventually, the vegetables grew and ripened. She’d pick the fruits of her labor to feed her family with fresh bounty as well as preserve the rest for use later. 

Aunt Ruby worked as a seamstress for a high-end dress shop. She altered clothes for customers. Sewing a garment at any level requires patience, but meeting the needs and demands for people who are paying for the service requires a big dose of patience and much needed grace. Fabric can be unforgiving, sewing machines can break, and a job that should take minutes winds up taking hours. I’m sure there were times when my aunt was frustrated, but she put the patience she learned to work for her. She did what she had to do. She was loved and respected by her employer, coworkers and clients.

Patience isn’t necessarily a gift. It is a learned behavior; A behavior or trait to be cultivated and practiced.

Maybe in this instant world we live in. This place where we connect with people instantly all over the world through technology and expect our food to be instantly ready for us when we are hungry.  Maybe in this time when we expect…no when we demand… to have the answers at our fingertips and become frustrated when it doesn’t happen. Maybe we can learn from Aunt Ruby. 

Maybe it’s time we do a little more fishing or plant a garden. 

You see patience is more than something we wish we had or something we wish others around us practiced. Patience is the thread that holds us together.It is the first quality used to describe love in the thirteenth chapter of the letter Paul wrote to the Corinthians.

“Love is patient, love is kind.” I Corinthians 13:4

Thank you, Aunt Ruby for helping me to see this. Thank you for a life well lived.

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Sneak Peek: Behind the Scenes

Libby's Cuppa Joe is 6 Months Old This Month! 
In celebration of Libby's birthday, I decided to take my readers behind the scenes of Libby’s Cuppa Joe
I’m often asked about where I get the idea for a story. The ideas for me are easy. I look around and imagine the story behind what makes a person think and act the way they do. But crafting a story? Crafting takes research. Come with me behind the scenes in the crafting of Libby’s Cuppa Joe.
The Setting Libby’s Cuppa Joe takes place in a coffee shop in Door County, Wisconsin. I had visited Door County as a tourist. To assure accuracy, I researched the Wisconsin peninsula on-line. I gathered information about the calendar of events in the communities there and used a map to think through the places and roads my characters would travel.
The Coffee Shop Running a coffee shop is a bit beyond the skills I acquired with my Mr. Coffee. While I enjoy drinking coffee and love the ambience of a quaint coffee shop when I’m traveling, I was clueless about what goes on in the commercial kitchen. I first contacted a friend who runs the coffee shop at the university where I taught. He gave me great technical advice. I found trade shows available for the industry online. Although I couldn’t afford such events, I gleaned great information and good questions from the websites and promotional materials. I took those questions to a sweet couple operating a coffee shop near where I lived in Florida during the writing of the book. 
The Cookies I knew I wanted to serve sweets in Libby’s Cuppa Joe coffee shop. I started with what I knew. I baked coffee cakes and cinnamon rolls. I decided these foods, though delicious, weren’t cost effective for my main character, Sonja Parker, who is, like me, learning the business. I settled on a recipe my mother gave me for Breakfast Cookies. I baked them and tried adding ingredients to make them even more special. My husband loved this part of the research and encouraged me to continue my work!
Kringle My daughter lives in Wisconsin. A pastry common to the area where she lives is called kringle. The traditional kringle is made with an almond paste though more contemporary versions are filled with fruit. This research proved to be messy. I had flour and sticky dough everywhere. My finished version of the flaky crust may not have looked pretty, but it was delicious. Since I had trouble making it, I knew Sonja would find it difficult. I brought help in by way of a young woman named Melissa. She helped Sonja in the coffee shop not only in creating the intricate kringle pastry, but to offer kindness and love to Sonja who most certainly needed it.
Grab Your Copy Here!
Character Names Sometimes readers ask me about the names I choose for characters. One rule of thumb writers often use is to make sure main characters don’t have names that begin with the same letter. We don’t like to confuse our readers. I have two other little tricks up my sleeve. I determine the ages of my characters then decide what year they were born. On the internet I can find popular names for that year. I used that for several of my characters in Libby’s Cuppa Joe. I chose Sonja’s name for two reasons. I looked for a name that was both popular for her age but also indicative of the European heritage of many of the people who settled Wisconsin.
A Power Outage It is important for characters to face stress from time to time. I read of a couple of power outages in Door County so I threw one Sonja’s way. I made it happen in winter and caused the freezing conditions to break pipes in her establishment. What a mess. I’m not a plumber and had to do quite a bit of digging to figure out what Sonja had done wrong when she closed her shop for the winter months and what she had to do to fix it.
The Kenosha Connection I have Sonja visit with her parents in Kenosha, Wisconsin. She visits the library there, goes to the doctor and to church. I don’t need to use my imagination for this one. Here is the “behind the scenes” fact: My daughter lives in Kenosha. My visits there helped me in the crafting of Libbys Cuppa Joe.

How Libby Got Her Name When I started writing the book I researched names as I said before. One of the names I found for the year the original proprietor of the coffee shop was born was Shirley. I have a cousin named Shirley so I thought it a good way to give a nod to her. I started the writing of Shirley’s Cuppa Joe. I wasn’t far into it when my youngest daughter said she would pass over a book with that title. She thought I needed a more contemporary name. I put the problem out to readers of my blog. There were several options offered. One was “Livvy.” I changed it slightly to become Libby and tested it with my readers. I’ll find a new way to nod to my cousin.

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

The Downton Abbey Within Me

The Downton Abbey movie is scheduled for release later this month. Some of my friends and I are already planning to go to the theater the minute it opens. In light of recent conversations I’ve had with my friends, it seemed appropriate to share this post. Disclaimer: I first crafted this Downton Abbey post for Karen Wingate’s blog Grace on Parade five years ago.
Another Disclaimer:
Not Downton Abbey
but a church in Budapest.
I liked it.
Accepting Who You Are….Gracefully
(and realizing it’s a blessing)

I recently took one of those silly on-line quizzes to find out which Downton Abbey character I would be were I living in that era. Silly, because the quiz asked questions such as “Which color do you prefer?” Easy. Which animal do I like? No problem. Which gift card would I like to receive? Piece of cake. 

Some of the questions were a bit harder for me. For example, the quiz put up pictures and titles of movies and music albums and asked me to select my favorite for each of those categories. I hadn’t heard of most of them. And there was the question about which adult drink I preferred. Since water wasn’t a choice and I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, I picked one that looked pretty.

Obviously, the quiz is not based on sound scientific research principles. I knew enough about research to know I shouldn’t trust the results. But there it was. Only a few clicks away I discovered I was not Lady Mary –a character whose quiet ways I admire, but rather, Daisy Mason, scullery maid turned assistant cook.

I was devastated. I envisioned myself living in the main house with an elegant room upstairs. Instead, I was destined to do what I’ve done for most of my life: get up early, cook for my family, clean up the kitchen, work hard, and try to do what I’m told to do. 

Others taking the test were reporting their results on social media. Hmm…better to act as if I didn’t take the quiz than to admit to my lowly state, right?

I was silent. Then I watched the final episode of Downton Abbey for the season and the verses from Proverbs 31 came to mind. I opened my Bible. This description of a wife of noble character says “She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family…” (v.15) and “She sets about her work vigorously…” (v.17) “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”(v. 20) “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (v. 27)

And think about verses 28-30. “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Maybe Daisy isn’t such a bad choice for me. I would like to be known for having a servant’s heart. I work hard and I try to be obedient to God. Daisy? I may not know much about music and movies, but I know I prefer coffee and cookies over tea and crumpets. Breakfast cookies to be exact…maybe I’ll head back to the kitchen… I guess it worked out after all. 

By the way, the recipe for Breakfast Cookies is found in the novel
They are delicious! Trust me!

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Farming and Writing Are Similar: Plant, Water, Weed

I’ve decided I am indeed blessed to have a farm heritage. My maternal grandparents were, for the most part, subsistence farmers, raising the food they needed for themselves and their livestock year by year. My paternal grandparents were commercial farmers, growing crops to sell and maintaining a herd of dairy cows for the milk.

We always had a garden. In fact I think nearly every member of the extended family had some sort of garden. Gardening provides food, yes. But it is valuable on so many other levels. 

Preparing the Soil: Hard Work
Of course if you’re going to plant a garden you need to prepare the garden bed. It may involve clearing the area of unwanted weeds or grass, getting rid of rocks or debris, and breaking up the ground with a tiller. It’s hard work. 

But isn’t that true in other areas of life? We have to prepare the way for relationships. We even use the language of gardening: friendship grow, love blooms. 

And how about in business? We talk of those ground breaking moments and getting over the stumbling blocks in our way. I see it in writing. I work hard preparing to write a story before I ever pick up the pen. 

Preparing the soil isn’t a glamorous part of anything we do. It’s hard work. And I’d venture to say that often where relationships never take root and businesses or ideas fade quickly, they were likely built on rocky ground.

Planting the Seeds: Faith and Patience
Still Growing Tomatoes
When I was a little girl, we referred to spring as planting season. Some crops were planted at differing times of year, depending on the temperature, moisture, and the plant. For example we planted winter wheat in the fall. Still, we thought of spring as the planting season for most crops. The soil had to be ready and the seeds planted in furrows the right depth.

Not all seeds will germinate and produce food. Not all of my ideas take root either. But we keep trying. I remember a pastor talking about faith one time. He described how a farmer plants seeds and trusts the seed will produce fruit to harvest. But it takes patience. That time of waiting and trust he used as an image for faith.

Weeding: More Hard Work
Weeds will grow in a garden. It’s a given. They’ll try to take over. And they willtake over unless you are ever diligent. I’ve seen it happen in relationships where unhealthy elements come in and come between people. I’ve seen it in business, where greed overpowers the mission of the company. 

I’ve seen it in writing as well. Sometimes it is merely a lack of editing making the story impossible to read. Other times it is a subplot that overshadows the intended story. The story becomes so convoluted, no one can follow it. 

I could take this notion of farming even further, but you get the idea. Everything worth having in life requires faith, patience and hard work. Everything starts with a tiny seed of hope.

I often meet people who say they really want to be authors. They have some great ideas. They simply don’t want to get their hands dirty. They don’t want to have to plant, water, and wait. They want an instant best seller.

But me? I guess I’m a farmer at heart. I’m happy with the seeds God has given me and the simple crops I can share with others. I’ve learned that preparing the soil, planting the seeds, and weeding the rows between them is rewarding in and of itself. But all it produces is somehow sweeter and better than anything I can find elsewhere. 

Don’t forget…You have another week to craft and turn in your short story to have a chance to win an Amazon gift card and a spot on this blog. CLICK HERE TO SEE LAST WEEK’S POST FOR DETAILS. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Ready for Some Fun? Here's a Contest For You!

It’s that time of year. Back-to-School time. Want to have a little fun?

Thank You Pixabay!
Well, remember when you entered your high school English class and saw a writing prompt scrawled across the blackboard? 

Okay, maybe that wasn’t all that much fun. You knew your teacher was going to make you write about your summer vacation, right?

But the simple truth is this: Getting your brain muscle active with any sort of writing exercise engages your thinking in a new way. It can help you reset your the ol' mindset, get you refocused on problem solving, and give your brain a much needed rest from other work or issues. I have an idea but I would never ask you to write about your summer vacation. I am so beyond that. Never would I ask my readers to write something so lame.

So…the teacher in me coupled with the writer in me came up with something a bit different.

I love Yankee Candles. The store selling them smells wonderful. One thing I’ve found myself doing from time to time when I shop there is to think of stories to go with the interesting names of the candles. 

I’ve often thought I should tell the Yankee Candle Company some of my ideas, using the candle names as the titles of the stories. Of course I never have. Which brings us to this back-to-school type post.
Picture By Pixabay

Writing prompts can take all shapes and sizes. I selected a few names of Yankee Candles for us to use. Here’s an example: Coconut Splash. I’ve decided this is a sweet romance that takes place one summer at the ocean. A girl from Ohio goes with her family to West Palm Beach, Florida to spend time with her grandparents. Life in the retirement community is not exactly all she hoped for when the family started out… until the tall and good-looking grandson of one of the community residents comes to help his grandfather. Of course in my story he and the girl meet and date (at least for the summer) before school starts and both have to head home. Okay, it may have a “Gidget” sort of feel (if you’re old enough to remember her), but you get the idea. 

Here’s where you come in…
I’m going to give you a few Yankee Candle names from which to choose to use as the title of your story. Craft a short story: No more than 1500 words. The story must be a “clean read” (family friendly) and at least mention some sort of candle in it. Make every word count to tell your story. You have two weeks. Send me your story by Friday, September 6th. I’ll choose one story as a winner. What will you win? An Amazon gift card and I will publish your story on my blog along with your bio. Anyone can enter, both novice and experienced writers. Note: I reserve the right to edit but if I do, I’ll send any changes to you for your approval if you are selected.

1.        Choose one of these Yankee Candle Names as Your Title 
A Calm and Quiet Place 
Midnight Jasmine
Seaside Woods
Garden by the Sea
Lemongrass and Ginger

2.        Craft a clean read story in any genre you like. (sweet romance, suspense, mystery, historical, sci-fi, etc.)

3.        Your story must not exceed 1500 words.

4.        Be sure you include a candle (of any sort) in your story.

5.        Proofread and edit your work before submitting.

6.        Send your story to me at on or by Friday, September 6.

7.        The winner will be notified by email at which time I will ask for your author bio.

8.        Most of all...have fun with this!


By the way, if my teacher had given me a few different topics for my summer vacation?  Something along the lines of...

"I found a Genie in a bottle on the beach and she granted me these three wishes." 
"The most boring week of my summer vacation was..."
"If I had my summer to relive, I would..."
"My alien encounter..."

Want to Become a Published Author? Check out this ebook from the Writing to Publish Series: Writing With E's. Available on Amazon CLICK HERE.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Mark Time...It's a Band Term...and Life

This boy. This man. My oldest grandson will graduate from high school this year. I was privileged to tag along with him and my daughter to a photo shoot for his senior pictures. 

The “T” is after his grandpa, Thomas. He’s like him in many ways. He’s thoughtful and kind. And he’s smart. Both of J.T.’s parents are like that, but when I see this man-child, I see bits and pieces of Tom. 

J.T. was the first of our grands. Tom and I couldn’t stay away. We would head to our daughter and son-in-law’s house the minute we were off of work. It was J.T.’s arrival that revealed Tom was a baby-hog. He never changed. As each little one arrived, he was quick to grab the baby out of my arms or whoever was cuddling the child when Tom came on the scene. I understood. And while J.T,’s parents had to worry over feedings and diapers and such, Tom and I took our job of  “drinking in the moments” quite seriously.

It was like that at this photo shoot. My youngest daughter was the photographer. While she was busy framing the shots, my other daughter was attending to details like straightening J.T.’s collar. My job was to keep an eye on two of my granddaughters while their mother worked behind the camera. And capture a few moments of my own.

Like this one…

J.T. was taking a break. I look at him and see that little baby I once held in my arms. Then he was looking at my face. Now he is looking forward to a new chapter in his young life. In a few days he will start his senior year of high school. It’s a milestone and he knows it. On the other end of the platform is my youngest granddaughter. She’s gearing up for first grade, happy to finally be in “real school” like her sister. And the distance between the two? Not all that far…or long, actually. Not in space...or time.

And there were other “behind the scenes” shots I’ll treasure. J.T. is tall, like his grandfather; taller than his mom and aunt. He’s taller than all of his family. I watched as my oldest daughter supported her sister resting halfway up a wall like spider woman to get a better angle for a picture.

And I watched as my oldest granddaughter helped my youngest granddaughter learn how to play a game to keep her entertained. Sisters supporting sisters –it’s a theme of family life. 

J.T. was a good sport as we fussed over him, had him change his shirt, hold his trumpet, shift his weight, look one direction then the other. It was a good day. A day filled with laughter and memories. And I couldn’t help but think as we piled back in J.T.’s car for him to drive us home that getting your first car and losing your first tooth have a lot in common. 

For some, the events simply mark the passage of time but for most of us they mark the beginning of new adventures. 

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Reinvent? Redefine? Revise? Refine?- Living Life to the Fullest

I’m often asked to speak for church events, women’s organizations, and book clubs. This next month I have two local speaking engagements. One group has asked me to offer a talk about living in Kosovo. I love to talk about my stint in the Balkan country. 

The other group has asked me to speak about how I’ve reinvented myself after age fifty-five. I’ve been giving that one a lot of thought. I suppose I see myself as an unfinished novel. Like the characters in my books, my life is always being revised; sometimes by choices I make and other times by events I never saw coming.

I know the group’s leader, Connie, wants me to share how I made a decision to become a published author. We talked about it. I’ve often shared on this blog how I researched the writing world and how I created a rather crude business plan to move from being a professor at a college to a novelist.  I had prayed about what I would do when Tom and I left our jobs. The decision to move to Kosovo was more a part of the healing process God had in store for me after Tom died. Not so much a piece of reinventing myself as it was a part of refining me in my new role as Tom’s widow. Through that move, God showed me I still had something to offer. 

Many people think of retirement as a time to slow down, Sleep in late, and play more golf. But we’re not wired that way. We are happiest when we are productive and when we are able to contribute. Even Tom, who claimed he was going to golf and fish everyday once he retired, taught a biomechanics class each February in Trinidad, acted as a consultant to others, and continued to author research papers. He couldn’t help it. It was something he loved to do. 

My brother-in-law who worked for the telephone company works harder now that he’s retired. He helps rebuild homes and serves on mission trips. He is at this very moment (as I type this) in Panama City Beach, Florida, assessing damage remaining from Hurricane Michael. He’s helping make arrangements for a team of volunteers to serve the people still devastated by the storm’s destruction. In his “down time” he helps my niece with her business.

I have friends at church who spend more time volunteering than they ever did at work. They learn new skills and stretch themselves. And then there’s Charles and Debbie. They’ve kicked this attitude of service up a notch. Charles is the pastor of my Florida church. He was a year behind me in high school. He and Debbie have raised their family, served the church and worked in various areas. Now, yes, now as they are approaching retirement, they have become foster parents. We all know parenting is a 24/7 endeavor. 

As Charles explains it, there is a crisis in the foster care system. He and Debbie have the energy, experience, and time. They’re investing themselves in toddlers who need to be loved. These little ones need care –physical and emotional care.

Reinventing? Refining? Revising? Redefining? Whatever you call it, life is an ongoing process. And those who are the happiest are the ones not standing still in the middle of it.