He Said, She Said.
It's all about perspective.
When my granddaughter and I visited the library during COVID, my granddaughter, ten years old at the time, checked out The Dangerous Book for Girls. It is a fun book offering a range of how-to advice and information about growing up. There was a section in the book called “boys.” The author offered what boys think and why they act as they do. Interesting.
My granddaughter wanted to know what the authors told boys about girls. Smart.
So on our next visit to the library, she located The Dangerous Book for Boys and turned to the section labeled “girls.”
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| Doing Her Research |
The authors of the book had little to say. They wrote an entire paragraph basically saying that girls like to talk. They also mentioned in a sentence or two that girls don’t find body noises as funny as boys do.
I could have told her that!
Remember the Mel Gibson/ Helen Hunt movie What Women Want? It’s an “oldie” from back in 2000. Through an electrical accident Mel Gibson’s character can hear what women are thinking. It’s a romantic comedy but certainly captures the notion that men and women indeed think about things differently.
I have come to appreciate the male perspective. After Tom died, I found myself asking what he would do in a particular situation. If I wasn't sure, I'd ask a male friend.
Now I turn to Mike. He offers an honest view into the way men think. Sometimes he doesn't even know it! But having that perspective allows me to make an informed decision.
And because I seek that different perspective, I’ve learned a lot through the years.
This brings me to my writing. I know how women think. Most women. I have no problem showcasing a female perspective. I feel fairly comfortable portraying a male character as well.
But like my granddaughter, I need to research a bit to figure out what goes on in the minds of men. I often ask Mike or one of my son's-in-law to read a section to make sure I am capturing the male point of view. Or their expertise.
In fact, recently I asked my son-in-law, David, to review paragraph I wrote concerning one of my male character's work in technology. David was the one to turn to because that's his strength. And he's a man. I wanted the paragraph to reflect the male character's take on the issue.
What I’ve decided is this:
Men and women both like to talk.
Men and women both like someone to listen to them talk.
Men may laugh at body noises while women may not. Yet in truth, both are embarrassed at those noises in the company of the other gender.
As for what really counts? We’re the same.
We all want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. We are all capable of problem solving and creativity. We all have gifts and talents. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses.
I’m pretty sure we are more alike than we are different.
But just for fun, what would you include in a book for boys that tells them about girls? And if you were writing a book for girls telling them about boys, what would you write? Please share in the comments below. It's easy. This could be interesting... and fun. And if you like you can post your comment anonymously.
Note: A form of this post first appeared in 2010. Forgive me for updating and recycling, but I'm in the middle of crafting a novel and I have a deadline!
