Tuesday, May 11, 2021

He Said, She Said...It's All About Perspective



At an earlier visit to the library, my ten-year-old granddaughter checked out The Dangerous Book for Girls. It is a fun book offering a range of how-to advice and information about growing up. There was a section in the book called “boys.” The author offered what boys think and why they act as they do. Interesting.


My granddaughter wanted to know what the authors told boys about girls. Smart.


On a recent visit to the library, she located The Dangerous Book for Boys and turned to the section labeled “girls.”

Doing Her Research


The authors of the book had little to say. They wrote an entire paragraph basically saying that girls like to talk. They also mentioned in a sentence or two that girls don’t find body noises as funny as boys do. Curious.


Remember the Mel Gibson/ Helen Hunt movie What Women Want? It’s an “oldie” from back in 2000. Through an electrical accident Mel Gibson’s character can hear what women are thinking. It’s a romantic comedy but certainly captures the notion that men and women indeed think about things differently. 


I have come to appreciate a male perspective. Since Tom died, I find myself asking what he would do in a particular situation and if I’m not sure, I ask a male friend. I didn’t always follow Tom’s train of thought and I don’t always do what my friends advise. But having that perspective allows me to make an informed decision.


And because I seek that different perspective, I’ve learned a lot through the years.


This brings me to my writing. I know how women think. Most women. I have no problem showcasing a female perspective. I feel fairly comfortable getting in the head of a male character as well. But like my granddaughter, I need to research a bit to figure out what goes on in the minds of men. I often ask a friend to read a section to make sure I am capturing the male point of view.


What I’ve decided is this:


Men and women both like to talk.

Men and women both like someone to listen to them talk.

Men may laugh at body noises while women may not. Both are embarrassed at those noises in the company of the other gender.


As for what really counts? We’re the same. We all want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. We are all capable of problem solving and creativity. We all have gifts and talents. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. 


I’m pretty sure we are more alike than we are different. 


But just for fun, what would you include in a book for boys that tells them about girls? And if you were writing a book for girls telling them about boys, what would you write? I do hope you’ll share.  This could be interesting and fun. 






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