And He Will Direct Your Path
Shortly after my husband died in October of 2014, my oldest daughter, Allison, had me over for dinner. My whole family was very good about taking care of me during that horrific time. After dinner, my nine-year-old grandson asked me a totally innocent question.
“Doll, do you think you’ll get married again?” (Yes, my grandchildren call me “Doll.”)
Allison was shocked and held her breath. She tried to warn Spencer with a gentle kick under the table. My son-in-law stood by wondering what to say. My oldest grandson looked at me with the same curiosity as his brother.
It had only been a week since the funeral.
I drew in a deep breath and answered as honestly as I could. “Spencer, I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I loved your Pap-pap, but I don’t know what God has in store for me.”
It’s true. We simply can’t see around the corners of our lives, but God can. I understand this truth and trust God with my life. He can see around the corners. And He only wants what is best for me.
I muddled through 2015 and 2016.
In 2017 I moved to a single story house. That same year I moved to Kosovo to teach fourth graders. I returned to the US in 2018.
I’ve been places and done things.
I’ve written books and stories.
My social circle has doubled in size.
Yet, I knew there was more in store for me. Could it be a relationship?
Those close to me know I trust God with…well, EVERYTHING in my life. That includes that question about relationships. Ever since that innocent question posed by my grandson over eight years ago, I’ve prayed about it.
I never prayed for a new husband. I didn’t pray for a boyfriend. My early prayers were for a sense of peace. I prayed to breathe without my heart breaking. I prayed for belonging. I never felt lonely. Alone, maybe, but not lonely.
Over time, I shared with God that if He had someone in mind for me, He would have to bring that man to me. I was NOT going to go looking. (I have noted that women who go looking for someone often find themselves in a heap of trouble.)
One night, a couple of years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with this verse from the book of Proverbs on my mind:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your path.
The thought was so compelling I got up and wrote the verse down on a tablet. I placed it on my kitchen counter where I would see it every day. I gave up wondering what God had in store.
Trusting is where it’s at.
I trust God has my back. I trust Him with my direction.
God has answered my simple prayer. I didn’t go looking, but this past year, God brought a wonderful man to me. I promise there is more to come…until then…
Lean not on your own understanding…He will direct your path.