Because of the date, I decided to resurrect this blog from a few years back. I've had a few people ask me about it and since January is the birth month of a very special person in my life, I decided to share it once more. I hope you enjoy the post and appreciate your own position in your family.
People often speak of “birth order.” When people speak of family, I often hear them grouse about their position in the family.
“I was the oldest so I was responsible for all my brothers and sisters. It wasn’t fair.”
“I was the youngest. I never got to do the stuff my brothers and sisters got to do because I was always ‘too little’ or ‘a baby.’”
But the pain and suffering of “the middles” must be the worst. According to them.
I can’t actually speak to any of this since I’m an “only.”
Then again, there is one person I’ve known all my life who says she always thought she was the luckiest person in her family because she was…are you ready…the middle. Yep. She was smack dab in the middle of seven, count them, seven children. She had an older sister and a younger sister. She had two older brothers and two younger brothers.
The middle.
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| With My Mom 2019 |
Why did she view herself as lucky? She had the best of both worlds. Mature enough to be included in the activities of the older ones and playful enough to enjoy the younger ones. She enjoyed her big family so much she fully expected to have at least four or five children of her own. It didn’t happen. She had one. One that was full of energy and kept her busy. She counted herself lucky.
She’s my mom. I’m the lucky one.
But this leads me to share a position I’ve long held. I’ve been blessed with three daughters. They are strong, smart, fun, women who are also full of energy. If they run into some issue or discover some flaw, it would be easy to blame their birth order. I hear that stuff from others frequently.
But I contend God places you in a family exactly where you need to be. The experiences you have and the qualities you develop because of your family position are what you need to be the person He intends you to be.
Responsible because you were the oldest? Good. We need responsible people.
Felt left out because you were the youngest? Okay. We need people who can empathize with the disenfranchised.
Always having to work to make things happen because you were a middle? Caring negotiators are scarce. We need you.
I used to think being an only was the worst. But the “only child” brings a different viewpoint and skill set to the table. Independent thinking. And we need that, too.
How did "birth order" make you the person you are today?
Also...this week, is my mom’s birthday. So to all the middles out there…Celebrate!
Also...this week, is my mom’s birthday. So to all the middles out there…Celebrate!
My brother was the first and King of the Mountain, always teasing his little sisters and the person my older sister always competed with. She is the caretaker to a fault and has trouble making decisions of any sort, just can’t make up her mind. I am the baby or the crybaby as they bothe called me and I think I got away with more than they ever did with my parents. I had more freedoms or maybe my parents were just tired by the time I joined the family five years after my sister and seven years after more brother. I always thought I was the accident that arrived just barely a year after my father returned from Korea. I really did not like my siblings at all until they left home for USF way back then and perhaps I missed the teasing but regardless we have all been very close as adults which I am the thankful to acknowledge.
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