Everyone Has a Story

What is Your Story? 

 

This past weekend I attended an online writing conference sponsored by Mt. Zion Ridge Press. The keynote speaker was award winning James Rubart. The other headliner was well known author Rachel Hauck. I’ve heard both speak before. They are inspiring as well as instructive. Conferences are a great way to connect with other writers and pick their brains. I always learn something new.

 

At this conference, one participant asked about the market for memoirs. 

 

The truth about memoirs is simple. If you are a celebrity or hero of some sort, your memoir will get published and sell. The rest of us? Not so much.

 

Yet, I am convinced we all…ALL…have a story to tell. 

A story of growing up and coming of age. 

A story of love lost or love found. 

A story of grief. 

A story of overcoming. 

A story of success despite all odds. 

A work story.

A school story.

A story of travel or adventure.

 

You get the idea. We all have something to share. We all have something to write down to inspire future generations or to help someone through a particular trial. 

 

A memoir? Maybe. Certainly, our own stories are worth preserving for our family. Our future. My grandmother didn’t write her stories down for us, but she shared them with every child and grandchild. Hers was a story of love, loss, survival, and forgiveness. Her story shaped our lives. It continues to influence my own thinking. 

 

We all have a story. What’s yours?

 

If you’re interested in seeing one of your true stories published, consider these upcoming topics for Chicken Soup for the Soul. Each is due at the end of August. You can check out their website for details. CLICK HERE

 

Here are a few topics they are considering:

 

Stories of Kindness.It could be something you did that was kind or something someone did for you.

 

Stories about Cats or Stories about Dogs.  These are true stories about our favorite four footed friends.

 

Humorous Stories. Those crazy things that made you laugh. 

Stories of Grieving, Loss, and Recovery.  The category speaks for itself.

 

They posted other topics on their site. These caught my eye. 

 

The point is this… you have a story worth sharing. This could be your chance to share it.

 

Feel free to leave your comments or questions here. I love to hear from my readers.

 

 

And if you’re serious about writing and publishing, check out my latest book, Writing to Publish. In it you will find the resources to get you started and keep you going. CLICK HERE 

He Said, She Said...It's All About Perspective

 Perspective.

 

At an earlier visit to the library, my ten-year-old granddaughter checked out The Dangerous Book for Girls. It is a fun book offering a range of how-to advice and information about growing up. There was a section in the book called “boys.” The author offered what boys think and why they act as they do. Interesting.

 

My granddaughter wanted to know what the authors told boys about girls. Smart.

 

On a recent visit to the library, she located The Dangerous Book for Boys and turned to the section labeled “girls.”

Doing Her Research

 

The authors of the book had little to say. They wrote an entire paragraph basically saying that girls like to talk. They also mentioned in a sentence or two that girls don’t find body noises as funny as boys do. Curious.

 

Remember the Mel Gibson/ Helen Hunt movie What Women Want? It’s an “oldie” from back in 2000. Through an electrical accident Mel Gibson’s character can hear what women are thinking. It’s a romantic comedy but certainly captures the notion that men and women indeed think about things differently. 

 

I have come to appreciate a male perspective. Since Tom died, I find myself asking what he would do in a particular situation and if I’m not sure, I ask a male friend. I didn’t always follow Tom’s train of thought and I don’t always do what my friends advise. But having that perspective allows me to make an informed decision.

 

And because I seek that different perspective, I’ve learned a lot through the years.

 

This brings me to my writing. I know how women think. Most women. I have no problem showcasing a female perspective. I feel fairly comfortable getting in the head of a male character as well. But like my granddaughter, I need to research a bit to figure out what goes on in the minds of men. I often ask a friend to read a section to make sure I am capturing the male point of view.

 

What I’ve decided is this:

 

Men and women both like to talk.

Men and women both like someone to listen to them talk.

Men may laugh at body noises while women may not. Both are embarrassed at those noises in the company of the other gender.

 

As for what really counts? We’re the same. We all want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. We are all capable of problem solving and creativity. We all have gifts and talents. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. 

 

I’m pretty sure we are more alike than we are different. 

 

But just for fun, what would you include in a book for boys that tells them about girls? And if you were writing a book for girls telling them about boys, what would you write? I do hope you’ll share.  This could be interesting and fun. 

 

 

 

 

 

A Metaphor For Living

The Roller Coaster Metaphor

 

I am always surprised when experiences collide and shape my understanding of the world. I love being able to look at the past through a new lens, lending meaning to my current life circumstances while at the same time, helping others. This is the case of the roller coaster.

 

The first story I sold to Chicken Soup for the Soul was called “The Roller Coaster.” It was published a volume titled “The Power of Positive.” In that story I shared how resolving my fear of roller coasters helped me address other intimidating situations. It is a true story. 

 

But this past weekend, my roller coaster experiences emerged in two very separate conversations as a metaphor for grieving.  (I started to write the grieving “process” but I think it more a journey than a process. More like a roller coaster.)

 

Saturday, I talked with a new writer friend. She lost her husband suddenly two years ago. A logging accident. Then on Sunday, two of my friends from Kosovo called me for my birthday. One is a psychologist. He is returning to America to resume his therapy practice. We touched on the subject of dealing with grief.

 

I run into armchair psychologists all the time. Unlike my friend who is an honest-to-goodness trained and licensed practitioner, many well meaning people offer their limited understanding of grief as if it were written in stone. Dustin listens. Other people talk.

 

What do these well meaning people say to me? All sorts of things about how long grief should last, what I should do to “get over it,” and advice on remarrying.

 

And those who have had a college psychology course have ALL the answers. If I say something about missing Tom or something along the lines of, “Sometimes it seems like yesterday,” they tell me I’m in the denial stage. They are, of course, referring to the Kubler-Ross model of the five stages of grief. It is a flawed application of stellar qualitative research looking at how people who were diagnosed with terminal illness dealt with their own death sentence.

 

I am not in denial. I am not angry with Tom or God or anyone else. I am not set on bargaining with God to bring Tom back nor am I depressed. The only one that comes at all close in my journey is acceptance. But then I have read the Bible. I get it.

 

I digress. The thrust of this post is about the roller coaster. I think it to be the best description of the journey of grief I can find.

 

According to my quick Google based research, there are over 2400 roller coasters in the world. Nearly a third of those are in the US. A roller coaster can be found on every continent except Antarctica. 

Roller coasters, it would seem, are a shared experience. Yet each is different.

 

Just like grieving. We all land somehow in the front seat of grief at some point in our lives. We feel pretty okay climbing up the steep hill, but scream and dig our fingernails into the handle bar as we plummet toward the unknown. And about the time we think we have it figured out, the coaster makes an unexpected turn, jerking us in a totally different direction. 

 

Everybody grieving is on a different roller coaster. Every one has a front seat. Some of the coasters may be longer than others. Some leave the passenger hoarse, breathless, and shaken. But in the end, if we’re lucky, we walk away whole and ready to face the next life challenge. 

 

If you know someone who has lost a loved one, listen. Climb in the roller coaster car beside them. They don’t need your advice. They need someone to grab the bar with them and scream.

Fair Weather Picnic Fare

We have certainly “turned the corner.” We can begin to meet with others who are vaccinated. With warm weather providing a backdrop for outdoor gatherings, it’s time to get together with family and friends. It’s time to put our hospitality hats on and take our masks off to share a meal. 

 

We may still observe a bit of social distancing, but we can still gather. 

 

Eat. Talk. Laugh.

 

A couple of weeks ago I posted a breakfast menu to wow your guests, be kind to your wallet, and give you the time to enjoy your company. I’ve always been a fan of the simple life. If you missed the “breakfast pizza” post, CLICK HERE. 

 

The next week I offered an “easy-peasy” lunch menu. Both were intended to be simple and fun and appealing to the eye as well as the taste buds. To find the lunch menu post, CLICK HERE.

 

That brings us to this week. For the dinner menu I considered a grilling out menu, a pasta dish or one of my favorite casseroles. In the end I landed on picnic fare. 

 

Let’s start with the appetizer. The purpose of the appetizer is to stimulate the appetite. It is a small portion of food. Our breakfast appetizer was a fruit cup. The appetizer for the lunch menu was raw veggies. Today’s appetizer takes a bit more prep time…but not much.

 

Appetizer: Peach Salsa with Bruschetta

 

I’m sure there are great peach salsa recipes out there but this is one I created when I lived in Kosovo. I like simple and delicious and this recipe meets both criteria. I’m also sure you can make your own bruschetta, but again, I’m into simple so I buy it at the grocery already made and sliced.

 

For the Salsa you will need ripe peaches, sweet onion, and tomatoes, and a lime. (Some people add cilantro and peppers, but since I didn’t have those, I made it without.) 

1) Simply peel and chop the peaches into small chunks

2) Add a bit of chopped sweet onion (No, I can’t tell you exactly how much. I rarely measure.) 

3) Add diced ripe tomatoes. These I don’t peel because the skin is so thin and if they are really ripe you have a mess on your hands.

4) Squeeze some juice from the lime over it.

5) Mix and pop into the refrigerator until you are ready to serve.

 

Set your bowl of salsa and bruschetta out for guests to enjoy. This recipe has never failed me. It is fresh and delicious. Every time I serve it guests ask me for the recipe. I hope you’ll try it. Add what you like and let me know how it turns out.

 

Main Course: Your Favorite Meat with Loaded Baked Potato Salad.

 

If I’m grilling for my whole family, it’s burgers, hot dogs, or sausages. Having a couple of people over? Steak would be nice. Then again, baked ham is delicious for a picnic. I’m not even opposed to grabbing a bucket of chicken at the drive through. But the potato salad? I like my recipe. Made the day before makes it easy on my social timeline and enhances the flavors.

 

Loaded Baked Potato Salad

 

1) Peel, cube, and cook about six large potatoes in salted water (enough to cover them) until tender. (If you use small Yukon Gold or small red potatoes, you may need more but you don’t need to peel them.) Let the potatoes cool before adding the other ingredients.

Loaded Baked Potato Salad

2) While the potatoes are cooking, cook 8oz. of bacon.

3) Mix a package of ranch dressing mix into a 16 oz. tub of sour cream.

4) Chop green onions. (I calculate how many by bunching them up and wrapping my forefinger and thumb around the greens. About two quarter size bunches of green onions is about right.)

5) Pop the cooled potatoes and green onions in a bowl. Add the sour cream mix, a package of shredded cheddar cheese, and the cooked and crumbled bacon.

 

Dessert: Ice Cream 

 

No need to make your own…unless of course, you are the Martha Stewart type. 

  

**Please continue to take safe measures against COVID-19. Get your shot. Continue to wear a mask. Use social distancing when and where you can.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So What's For Lunch?

 So What’s For Lunch?

 

Last week I proposed we are entering a time when we can start thinking about entertaining once again. It may be outside or we may able to share a meal in our dining room with a small group of family or friends who have been vaccinated. 

 

Personally, I miss having people over for a meal. Any meal. I shared a popular, no fuss menu last week for breakfast. This week I am sharing an even easier to prep lunch menu. I don’t want to spend all my time in the kitchen. I want to spend time with my guests. Again, I’m including an appetizer, main course, and dessert. 

 

Lunch Appetizer: Veggies

 

Choose the veggies you like. I chose carrots and celery drizzled with ranch dressing. I served them in individual small cups. I bought a bag of baby carrots and a bag of celery. Of course, you can purchase the celery already cut into small pieces, but cleaning and cutting it is no big deal.

 

Don’t like carrots and celery? How about grape tomatoes or broccoli? Sweet raw peas are good. So are slices of sweet pepper. You get the idea. Your appetizer is the start of the meal. Why make a big hefty salad when a few raw veggies will do?

 

Main Course: Rotisserie Chicken with Charred Sweet Onion, Tomatoes, and Avocado

 

Easier than easy. My local grocery store roasts juicy, delicious chickens every day. $5.99 and one will serve four people with leftovers. I heat olive oil then char slices or slivers of sweet onion in the pan. Add that to my grape tomatoes and chunks of avocado and pour over the slices of chicken I’ve plated for my guests. That could be it. You may decide to add a hard roll or rice. The day I made this last week, I had a pack of couscous in the pantry. The mild Mediterranean seasonings were a perfect complement to my chicken. And the side dish cooked up in five minutes. That I can handle.  

 

Dessert: Angel Food Cake 

 

As my granddaughter would say, “Easy peasy.” I bought a premade angel food cake at the grocery bakery. I drizzled chocolate syrup on the plate and a bit on the cake. I garnished each serving with blueberries and raspberries. Use what you have. It makes for a gorgeous dessert. 

 

As you can see, presentation is perhaps as important as taste. While the meals I’m suggesting are delicious, they look great, too. Don’t be afraid try new recipes, put new ingredients together, and plate your meals in new ways. Think about how some restaurants serve iced tea in a mason jar. Make it fun. 

 

The most important part of the meal? Sharing time with people you care about.

 

Your turn. What favorite recipe do you pull out for guests?

**Please continue to take safe measures against COVID-19. Get your shot. Continue to wear a mask. Use social distancing when and where you can.**

Company for Breakfast? No Problem

I enjoy having people in my home for a meal, a visit, and perhaps a game. I know many who like to entertain, but feel it is simply too much work. I get it. As a young bride I found having people over to be overflowing with stress. That was before I learned the secret. 

 

I wrote a story that appeared in two editions of Chicken Soup for the Soul  called “The Secret to Being a Good Hostess.” The latest  is in the Magic of Moms. It featured wise words my mother once gave me. 

 

“Treat your family like company and your company like family.”

 

As more of my family and friends are getting the COVID vaccine and the weather is warming where we can gather outside, I decided to share some of my favorite easy meals for entertaining. Each has an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert. We’re starting with breakfast.

 

The focus is on simple, fun, relaxing, entertaining, and affordable. Ready?

 

Appetizer: Our breakfast appetizer is a simple fruit cup.

 

No, I did not go out and buy all fresh fruit, spend hours cutting, cleaning, pitting, and everything else you have to do to make a fresh fruit salad. I didn’t spend an arm and a leg either. I opened a can of fruit cocktail, drained it, and put it in a pretty glass. (It is fruit cocktail, after all.) I sliced a single banana and added to all four servings. You could add fresh berries or slices of apple. Add what you like…and what you have on hand. We don’t want to spend our time and energy on this. We want something that looks good, tastes great, and whets those appetites!

 

Main Course: Breakfast Pizza 

 

My family loves breakfast pizza. It is a staple when we go skiing and a favorite family breakfast during the holidays. But I enjoy making it whenever I have people over for any sort of breakfast gathering. It can be big and flat like a pizza made on a cookie sheet or a deep dish offering much like a fluffy quiche. Same ingredients. Easy to throw together and pretty. 

 

For today’s menu, I used one tube of crescent rolls for the crust (just separate them and “smoosh” them together in the bottom of the dish. I browned some ground sausage in a pan, drained it and spread it over the crust. I threw in some chopped green chili, frozen hash browns, covered the whole thing with some eggs I had mixed up with a bit of milk and smothered it with shredded cheese. 

 

You can add anything else you like. I’ve put a layer of fresh spinach in on occasion, sometimes maybe a bit of ham or sweet peppers. I was going to add tomatoes to this one, but forgot. Like mushrooms? Throw some in. Make it to your liking. Don’t stress over the recipe. Be creative.

 

Toss the whole shebang in your preheated oven. I think I had mine set at 350F and it took about thirty-five minutes. I stick a table knife in to see if it’s ready. When I make it thinner on a cookie sheet it takes less time. I go by smell and looks and the “come out clean” knife method. While it’s baking, I wash up the pans and bowls I’ve dirtied in the process, set the table, and make the coffee.

 

A seriously delicious and easy way to entertain friends and family for breakfast. And now for dessert.

 

Dessert for breakfast? Well, if you’re like me, the breakfast pizza will fill you, but as you and your friends visit or play a game, you may want a little snack with your second cup of coffee. And this blog post is a full-meal, offering. Remember?

 

Dessert: Breakfast Cookies

 

These are called breakfast cookies because the main ingredients are oatmeal and cornflakes. They can be made ahead of time (though I love them soft and warm and fresh out of the oven). They are perfect for dunking and you can add anything you like to them such as chocolate chips, raisins, nuts…anything. I’m posting the picture, but if you want the recipe, shoot me an email at rebecca@waterswords.com and I’ll be sure to send the recipe to you.

 

There you have it. The first of three meal plans for entertaining. Next week I’ll tackle the lunch menu! Let me know if you have a favorite recipe or if you try one of these ideas. I love to hear from readers.

**Please continue to take safe measures against COVID-19. Get your shot. Continue to wear a mask. Use social distancing when and where you can.**

Cherish the Moments

 What a difference a year makes. 

 

This time last year, we were all getting our sea legs so to speak, as we navigated the uncertain waters of quarantine. My oldest daughter delivered my groceries and I washed every item before putting it away. I wore gloves and scoured each and every surface with disinfectant. 

 

We hadn’t learned the language of COVID-19 yet nor the protocols. We were learning as we lived through it. We made masks out of anything and everything. I even tried the “sock” mask before breaking out the sewing machine and stitching masks for myself as well as my family. 

 

We muddled through. Remember? Rumors about the whole thing ending when the weather warmed gave us hope. Then growing numbers of those infected and the many succumbing to the virus dashed those ideas. 

 

I don’t need to relive it. We were there. 

 

And now we are here. 

 

Easter 2020, my youngest daughter hid eggs in my backyard for her own daughters to hunt. I watched from my bedroom balcony. 

 

But this year? With many of my family fully vaccinated and with everyone sporting their favorite mask, we gathered at my house for dinner, played games, and visited. We “socially distanced” by sitting in differing areas and set the food service up so everyone had what they needed without getting into each other’s space. 

Cousins. Games. Masks.

 

My mother visited early before all the hoopla and that was great. My middle daughter with her husband and four children arrived from Wisconsin. I hadn’t seen them in over a year. To have all three of my daughters here at the same time proved incredibly healing for me.

 

I smiled as the younger children hunted eggs in the back yard, the lightest of snow flurries coming down. My oldest daughter brought beautifully decorated cupcakes for everyone and a candle for each. We sang one big happy birthday to the whole family. 

 

It was one of those crazy beautiful times when you realize how much you missed through the year and cherish how much you have in the moment.